Sunday 19 December 2021

Bye Baby - Journey on first pregnancy. Curette on week 12

Early November, I had a very bad cramps on my stomach. It was not yet my menstrual period, but i had this urge to do a pregnancy testpack. I did it, and the result shows positive, I am pregnant! I was so happy, and I intent to keep it a secret for a while. The next week would be my husband's birthday, I was planning to tell him then. But after each day, the cramps became more unbearable, so I had to tell him. He cried!

We told my parents the next morning that we had to go to a OBGYN. And yes it was confirmed that I am pregnant, she said that it was our 5th week. The OBGYN gave me vitamins (Vit-D, some pills for uterine booster, and some pills for the cramp). The next week. we decided to check to other doctors, because the pills for the cramp didn't really work. This second doctor checked, and said the baby was now 7th week. Seems everything is okay, told me to stop the pills for the cramp, and instead drank some syrup for indigestion before I ate. He told me to come back next month. It works this time. 

Life goes on normally. I reduced drinking coffee, tea, and sweet snacks. I tried to eat healthier. Less grilled meat whenever possible (but I cheated once or twice). Then the time for another check up came.

We went to our last OBGYN, and told him I had a twich on my waist sometimes. He said it is normal on 11th week. I should also experience nausea, hardening on the breast area, as normal mom-to-be are. And he went to do the USG on my stomach. 

At first he didn't say anything suspicious, he showed my womb area, the baby position, the amniotic fluid which shows plenty of fluid, normal and he became quieter, and said the baby showed like a 8 weeks instead of 11 weeks. I was confused, what?? And he went to say, there was no heartbeat. We have to do curette to remove the remaining placenta.

Yep, I lost the baby. He said there were 3 reason this could happen. Toxo (animal fur, related to pets), eating raw food, or just bad sperm / ovary egg cell. I was to stuned to speak. He said to plan the time for curette with the nurse outdoor, we thanked him, and we went out.

The nurse was so comforting and said sorry for the bad news. And she brought us to the administration office. I asked my husband to pay for the bill, while i took a seat in the corner and cried my heart out.

I went home, texted my sister and my mom the bad news. My sister told my dad. And i stuck in my bed and cried. My husband tried to comfort me. Then I told him to call his mom, and tell the news. I also told my sister in law. It was hard for everyone.

We decided to go for a second opinion, so we went to another older OBGYN in my city. He did transvaginal USG, and confirm it was a bad pregnancy, there is no baby on the womb. So, yes, we had concluded we need to do curette.

To be honest, We am still a little bit sad, but I am thankful for this journey. We will do the curette probaby tomorrow (week 12). I have my faith, my God will provide when the time is right. Till then, I will keep my faith and be happy.